Pig in a Poke

MIKE INGLES
“Senator Feinstein will get her bill passed. It will be a water-downed version of the former 1994 law banning assault weapons and will be just as insignificant. It will squeak by in the House, where 50, so called, liberals will join with 169 crazies to give this liberal president another false victory.”

My two-year-old granddaughter sits on my lap, and we watch Dora the Explorer. Lately, I’ve been holding-on to her too tightly—she seldom complains, but simply eases my burly hands away from her tiny waist and lifts my paws, ever so softly. Eventually, her head finds the cradle of my right arm, and, in an instant, she is asleep. I must never nap; if I do then those images may return, and I will begin holding-on too tightly once again.

Diana Feinstein is a liberal, or so it is said. This generic term gets bandied-about pretty loosely when 20 children are murdered in their schoolhouse. True-to-form, she has rushed into the fight—unarmed—as it were. Another, in a long list of champagne liberals found in the senate, Mrs. Feinstein cannot be blamed for misunderstanding the plight of the lower-classes, she has never dived so deep. Her remedy is to resubmit the failed policies of the infamous Assault Band Treaty of 1994, which was allowed to sunset because it did little good and no one cared.

Senator Feinstein would ban some weapons, however, a growing list of more than 800 weapons would be perfectly legal to use in the next mass-murder. This purported law would probably pass in Texas—pigs are a real problem in Texas [man-made—Eds.] and to hunt them you really do need ten-in-the-clip.

Senator Chuck Schumer, (D) New York, negotiating from a position of utter weakness, in today’s New York Post, bemoans that we liberals need to stop pushing for an all-out ban because he went hunting with Senator Ben Nelson (D) Nebraska, and came away with the following conclusion “I returned with true respect for how, in many parts of America, gun ownership is not just a constitutional right but a way of life.” It doesn’t say if he was able to kill something or not.

Likewise, former governor of Pennsylvania, Ed Rendell, has developed a five-point plan to appease hunters and discourage mass-murder, including, such pie-in-the-sky remedies as redefining mental illness and, on par with Mrs. Feinstein, limiting the number of bullets to ten per clip.

These caviar cupcakes just don’t get it. A terrible mass-murder of children has occurred, and we need our liberal leaders to demand real reform and not just the rehashing of old arguments and ineffective policies that will secretly be blessed by the NRA. Why would any politician start a negotiation at ten per clip when what we liberals want is one shot per trigger-squeeze. To be a true sportsman and a big-time pig killer, lawmakers should be able to bring down a pig with a single-shot.

Senator Feinstein will get her bill passed. It will be a water-downed version of the former 1994 law banning assault weapons and will be just as insignificant. It will squeak by in the House, where 50, so called, liberals will join with 169 crazies to give this liberal president another false victory. The NRA and the gun lobby will bemoan its passage but covertly will be more than pleased; profits will not be harmed. Once again, people claiming to be liberal, and reflecting the views of the public, will accept victory when surrendering without a fight would be more appropriate. Our citizens will be duped into thinking that their elected representatives are helping to protect our children.

In Texas, they’ll go hog-wild. There’ll be a barbecue. But in New york or San Francisco or Baltimore or Chicago or Philadelphia or Dallas or in Leesburg, Ohio, next month—next year, a young man with worms in his brain will reason that he’ll get more bang-for-the-buck out of his old man’s Glock 9mm than his granddad’s shotgun. He’ll be on a mission.

She will be laying quietly in my arms when the news breaks on some terrible Friday morning, and, awakening suddenly, she’ll complain, “Pappa, you’re holding me too tight again.”

“I know,” I’ll say.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mike Ingles is a freelance writer living in Ohio. He has a degree in American Literature from Franklin University, Columbus, Ohio.
duckrun2@aol.com