POSTED IN THE NEW YORKER BY ANDY BOROWITZ
Andy Borowitz hits the mark once again. Criminal morons can indeed succeed big in America. The immigrants should also take Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush, as inspiration. —Eds
RIO GRANDE (The Borowitz Report)—A recent tour of the United States-Mexico border by Texas Governor Rick Perry has had the unintended consequence of convincing thousands of immigrants that anyone can succeed in America.
“When we learned that these two men were the governor of a large state and a top broadcaster from a major news network, it seemed too incredible to be true,” said an immigrant from Honduras, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “We all said to ourselves, if those two can succeed in America, imagine the wondrous things we might achieve.”
According to a border official, immigration at the border shot up eighty per cent since the appearance by the two men, and the situation could get even worse. “There’s a rumor that Rand Paul plans to visit,” the official said.
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