America’s Clown Car Politics

The GOP clown car. The Democrats have their own. (Donkey Hotey)

As the clown car of American politics careens through ever shrinking fiery hoops, it begs the question, why don't they just stop? Why don't they remove the clown makeup, get a better car from China, and put the guns down? The rest of the world would still sell them stuff for the rest of the century, even without all the murdering and extortion. This is unfortunately impossible.

The American clown car, by design, has no brakes at all. American politics just has two accelerators, one red and one blue. Voting consists of mashing furiously on one of the two pedals, hoping that something other than smoke and silk scarves will come out, and it never does. That's the whole joke! America was founded as a tax-evasion scheme for unreconstructed slavers and it's working exactly as intended. All of the 'declarations' and 'rights' were just so much clown make-up.

Since the 13 colonies, America has been a big Ponzi scheme, destroying the present and selling futures on it. When they ran out of 13 colonies they took 65 more 'states and territories'. When they couldn't work the natives hard enough, they brought in people from Africa. When all that land and all that labor wasn't enough, they declared Manifest Destiny over South America too. When that wasn't enough they 'helped' Europe by conquering them and took their colonies too. Today only about five countries are truly free, America's enemies. They enslaved the globe and called it the 'free world'. But the point is to make everything expensive, and denominated in dollars. It's really a long con.

America is a Ponzi scheme because, well just do the napkin math yourself (this won't be exact at all, but good enough). America has promised $35 trillion to creditors and revised GDP down to $28.26 trillion last year. And their GDP is mostly smoke and silk scarves, AKA horseshit. America can't pay off their debt without spooking the horses, but as long as they don't have to, it doesn't matter. As long as some new suckers buy their treasuries (tribute), they can pay off the old suckers. A classic Ponzi.

The problem with Ponzis is that they have no reverse gear. You can't suddenly turn a Ponzi scheme into a real business, you have to keep pushing the fraud further and further or lose it all. Schemes have to get more and more fantastic, you have to keep the bluff going. Slowing down on the horseshit for an instant spooks the horses, there's a run on the bank, then it's revealed that you're actually bankrupt. So you keep hustling. You can only accelerate, there is no brake or reverse. But no scheme can go on forever. As God said in translation (he spoke Arabic):

“They are planning a scheme, and so am I: so bear with those who deny the truth, and let them be for a little while.”

Call it what you want, research it how you will, everything that exists must not exist for much longer. Everything thing that lives must die, artificial as well as natural life. God is the most erudite way to understand this and economics the most vulgar. But all roads lead to the collapse of Rome. Every great city has expanded to its carrying capacity and collapsed, it's just a force of nature. The world was our Petri dish for thousands of years and we've run millions of experiments. Countless men have tried to rule forever and 100% have failed. Ask Gilgamesh. As Allah told his prophet after Jesus, “Say, ‘Roam across the earth and observe what was the end of the sinful ones. Do not grieve over them, nor feel distressed at their schemes.”  What goes up must come down. If you're a vulgar secularist, ask your homie Newton.

For an idiot's idea of how mathematically fucked America is, let's return to the numbers above. $35 trillion in debt and say $30 trillion in GDP. Debt in your own currency is theoretically infinite, but haunted by what Keynes called 'animal spirits.' Spook the horses and suddenly everything goes apeshit. And the horses (re: the investor class) are already getting antsy. American interest rates are rising, from nearly 0% for years to 5.5% now. We'll round up to 6% for napkin purposes.

By the Rule of 72 (72/6), American debt will thus double every 12 years*. But because America is ruled by fools, interest rates will probably get worse. Investors will start to smell bullshit and demand bigger 'coupons', 10%, then 20% like in the late 1970s. Exponentials get absurd quick, and exponentials mixed with animal spirits is a heady brew. Like that last round of tequila when you know you really shouldn't. It never ends well.

America is trying to start multiple wars with major trade and resource partners. Any one of its problems are problematic, together it's a fuckupalypse of epic proportions. Americans don't do anything by half-measures, including collapse. It's go hard or go home. In this case, both.

America could easily have a quadrillion dollars debt within 10 years. Quadrillion is a number I had to look up, and it definitely sounds racist. It's all made up numbers, but at some point it just looks absurd. At some point someone is going to call bullshit, and everyone else is going to follow in a mad stampede to the door. It's already happening by trickles, soon enough it will be a flood. America right now is sitting on a huge amount of repressed consumer, corporate, and national debt that they're just holding back with a cork until they can get their sock puppet Biden re-elected.

The fact is that America is overdue for a recession (it's called the business cycle). America's has a huge market panic every 10 or 20 years, and then a complete meltdown every century or so. And the big one is coming. The Great Schizophrenia will make the Great Depression look like a picnic. It'll be mayhem on Wall Street. Soon enough Jericho will make a capital call, and then all the walls will come down. As Satan said, when he was in New York, “I'd get ready for one of those Class-A, New York-style pigfucks.”

We are living through the last Golden Bull Market—the final worship of false idols—before Allah finally roasts the place like he promised multiple times, through multiple prophets. People followed Profit itself, but that was the Devil. Feel for yourself. “Awfully hot, isn't it?” as Satan said. Monkeys are falling out of trees already. Great apes will be falling out of towers shortly.

The only thing keeping the American Scheme going this long is war. Force. War is the basis of their culture, it is their founding myth, it has been their blood right for all but 16 years of their vile and violent existence. More Americans probably sleep with a gun by their bed than a Bible. Jesus is at the border, getting electrocuted. The poor are at their doorstep, getting beaten by cops. As Chris Hedges said, war is a force that gives us meaning. And of course blood money is good money. The only thing this fallen city follows is the money. And now their luck has run out.

Teddy Roosevelt, the man's man's President, said ‘speak softly and carry a big stick.’America today, however, led by the wizened Joe Biden and the weeping Antony Blinken, ‘speaks loudly and carries a limp dick.’ The Empire has no clothes, and is still trying to fuck everybody. It's both evil and embarrassing. It's OK to be evil, but being laughed at is fatal for an Empire. And people increasingly don't take America seriously anymore. The natives are in open revolt, and even imperial citizens find American leadership revolting. It is, as I said, a clown show, and nobody finds these killer clowns amusing anymore.

America lost in Afghanistan, to dudes with Toyota Hiluxes and patience. They limped off from the graveyard of empires saying ‘'tis but a scratch,’ but they're dead men walking. Now they've lost land and air supremacy to Russia, naval supremacy to Yemen, and moral supremacy to Palestine. The only thing left is white supremacy, and that's gone rancid long ago. Nobody's buying that shit, and at some point somebodies stop buying treasuries. Then it's Ponzi scheme over.

If the war machine doesn't work then nations stop paying tribute (buying treasuries) and the Empire can't fund more war. It's a vicious cycle which starts slowly but speeds up, because compound interest is exponential. So many empires end up like this, overextended in war and over indebted at home. If anything, America is speed running the process. Rather than chilling out and enjoying their old age, they're trying to start World War III with just their dick in their hands. As the American creed goes, live fast and die young.

Americans are finally figuring out they're not in the driver's seat of their Empire, they're in the trunk. Republicans keep yanking the steering wheel hard to the right and Democrats move it back two millimeters, expecting applause. They're still heading the same direction, just doing different sex acts in the backseat. Nobody's in the driver seat at all. The car is 'self-driving' and has been since corporations became sentient in the 1600s. And it just wants to run creatures over to feel the bumps. Look, it makes a line go up! There's no way out of this from within this. You just have to go through it, and 'it' is a wall.

You can see the walls closing in, as Americas Ls come faster and furioser. Their leaders are complete clowns and the fiery rings get smaller and smaller. It must be dawning on some of the increasingly unpacified children in the back that there is no turning this clown car around. In the end, it just explodes. That's the big finale. Boom.